Archive for the ‘emotion’ category

Visualisation – Your Amazing Mind!

February 19, 2008


j0433055.jpg Your mind is an amazing, powerful and creative tool. With it you have an awesome capacity to change how you feel long-term by creating your future right now.

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it. – William A. Ward

You not only have the ability to remember events and re-run them in your mind, but you are also capable of creating events or feelings in your imagination before they actually occur. You do this all the time; when you are looking forward to a holiday you have booked or when you have planned a night out. You think about how it’s going to be and build up an expectation of how it will play out don’t you?

Athletes use this ability to practice their techniques and to run the races before they have even stepped out of the starting blocks. Golfers use it to practice their swing, musicians use it to practice their performances before the big day. The incredible thing is — and I love this – the mind can’t tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined visually.

Wow! How cool is that?! If you imagine your future vividly – it becomes your reality.

So if you want to feel fantastic, have tons of energy, be happy, successful and abundant in every good way, the secret is to start that process right now in your imagination. How?

Everyday set aside ten minutes each morning and ten minutes every night to do this. Sit quietly, close your eyes and let the process begin.

In your imagination see yourself as the person you would LOVE to become. Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? How does it feel? Breathe deeply and soak it all in. Now make the picture brighter, add more colour to it. What are you saying to yourself or others around you? Make the feelings stronger, feel the emotions you’re feeling more intensely. Smile as you see yourself being amazing, as you feel an incredible inner strength, joy and confidence! Now turn the sound up. Make the vision even more real!

As you experience the joy and passion of who you are, give thanks for it as if it has already happened, as if it is happening right now in this very moment. Celebrate the new you! Celebrate the moment and make it real. Do this over and over again, for all the ways you want to change, for all the new things you want to do, for all the new, powerful feelings you want to experience. Live the life you deserve the way you want to NOW and you will be well on your way to making it your reality!

 

To find out more about your amazing mind contact tracey.dowe@momentumpeople.co.uk or log in to http://www.momentumpeople.co.uk

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Re-light My Fire – Ignite the Passion and Romance once more

February 11, 2008


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You’ve been together a number of years and you love each other very much. The passion and chemistry of the early months and years is now a distant memory, it was great while it lasted but your relationship is in it’s next phase now. Isn’t that what people call it when the romance goes and the “comfy with each other but not on fire” sets in?

 

How would you like to re-kindle that excitement between you? Create that spark that once burned so bright? Have your significant other fall totally and utterly head-over-heals again?

 

I can teach you very quickly how to do just that. Sound good??

 

Well, it’s actually very easy you just need to take a little time to ask some very important questions, discover what their strategy is for feeling loved by you.

Everyone has unique triggers or anchors that cause them to feel love and/or attraction. When you first get together you want to do everything to please the other person so you tap into all of these. As time goes on in a relationship you still love the person but do you still have the same intensity or focus on the relationship? You probably don’t express your love in the same way as you did back in the courting stages..

 

 Human beings have a specific set of triggers that cause us to feel deep feelings of love

 

Some of us need to be SHOWN we are loved. We need people to buy us things or take us places or look at us with a certain incredible loving look and there’s NOTHING! Nothing in this world that creates a deeper feeling of love for this type of person than that strategy.

 

For other people…you can show them all day long how much you love them but they need to HEAR it. They need to hear the words I love you – with a certain tonality, with a certain tempo and a certain way and unless you say it just like that it’s not going to work.

 

For other people, you can tell them all day long – you can show them, but unless you TOUCH them in a very specific way they’ll never feel the deepest level of love. They may feel like you love them generally, and that you’re close but the deepest feeling of love is triggered differently for every person you’ll meet.

 

So after the courting stage….when you expressed your love for this person…who’s love strategy do you express your love in???

 

Did you find out what makes them feel loved…..or did you assume that they would feel love the same way you do? That it’s triggered in the same way?

 

In the beginning you do it all, so you feel loved. Then you continue but show them love by your strategy. One day…they’re going to question whether you love them…or you will question whether they love you.

 

If you want your relationship to be deeply loving and passionate you have to know what the other person’s strategy is. Find out what makes them feel MOST loved. Ask the person that you are in a relationship with this question:-

 

“Can you remember a time when you felt most loved by me?”

 

 Then use the process of elimination to find out which one of these three is strongest for them.

 

 “In order for you to feel these deep feelings of love is it absolutely necessary that I show you I love you by buying you things, taking you places, or looking at you in a certain way?”

 

 If you get an non committal answer then ask:-

“Well can you remember a time when you felt most loved by me?”

 

Make sure they can remember a specific time and then continue

 

“In order for you to feel these deep feelings of love is it absolutely necessary that I tell you I love you in a certain way?”

 

If they say  “well, yeah” or something like that you may be closer but it isn’t it so ask this –

 

“Well can you remember a time when you felt most loved by me?” put them back in state….…..“In order for you to feel these deep feelings of love is it absolutely necessary that I touch you in a certain way?” 

 

One of these questions will give you the right answer. If it’s touch…find out the specific touch. Communicate every single day and use their strategy. Reach them at the deepest level.

 

Work at creating moments and positive anchors. Take time to do something special together at least once a month. Be spontaneous.

 

To make your relationship work…give what you want to receive in that relationship. If you want respect then give respect. If you want love then give tons of love. If you want passion then give tons of passion. Give what you want and you will receive back everything that you want.

 

The quality of a relationship comes down to the quality of your commitment to making it work. Nothing in life that has any value can be created without absolute commitment. Relationships are the essence of life. The more deeply you can share with another human being life’s experience…the greater quality of life you will live.

Get in to Focus

January 6, 2008

j0399971.jpgWe go through life living each and every day and at the end of each day we decide if it was a good day or a bad day. We get part way through a day and some times it can change from a good day to a bad day or the other way round. Did you ever stop and consider what makes it a good or bad day? Was it the events of the day? Or was it how we felt that day? There are days, aren’t there, when things don’t go our way and yet we still feel great. Other days, things go great and yet we still feel lousy, or, worse than that, we fail to feel anything. Why is that? What makes you feel good or bad or nothing as you go through your day?

 

Well, what you focus your thoughts and attention on at any moment in the day determines how you feel in that moment. And, how you feel emotionally will determine how alive you feel inside and how much energy you have. Think about it with me right now. How do you feel in this moment? Happy? Sad? Curious? Challenged? Write down what that feeling was.

 

Now, write down what were you thinking about in the minutes leading up to that question? If you were feeling pretty happy, were you thinking about something that made you happy? If you were feeling curious, were you asking questions? If you were feeling frustrated, were you thinking about something that happened that was frustrating?  What do you think about on a regular basis? Are there things that you have a habit of thinking about over and over?  How does it make you feel?

 

If you’ve been thinking about something really exciting, a new opportunity, something that you’re looking forward to, something you know is going to be fantastic then I can bet that you’re feeling pretty enthusiastic, excited and happy right now! And if you had to measure your energy level on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being low, 10 being high, where’s your energy level now?  Between eight and ten at a guess.

 

If you’ve been thinking about something you want to do but think you can’t because it’s too hard or it’s something that ‘only other people get to do’, or maybe thinking about things that have gone wrong for you how do you feel?  Pretty down, deflated, low, sad or upset? What’s your energy like now on a scale of 1 – 10? A two or three maybe?

 

You see, what you focus on i.e. what you think about most, is what you feel. What you feel determines your level of energy and how you see the world and how you see the world is your reality. If you focus on something being hard then life feels hard. Your reality is that life is a struggle; it saps your energy leaving you sad, tired and depressed. If on the other hand your focus is on the good things in life, if you’re optimistic and cheerful then your reality is very different isn’t it? You have a smile. You have more energy. You have a bounce in your walk – a spring in your step. Life feels good!

 

Your energy and passion for life are totally dependent up on what you think about each minute of each day and what your state of mind is like in each moment.

 

Let me ask you a question. Do you notice what you think about? When you’re feeling low or frustrated, when you’re in a negative frame of mind — do you relate it to what you’re thinking about? In turn, when you are feeling tired, down or sad — did you notice what you’d been thinking about to be in that place? Your feelings are absolutely the key to having energy, passion and purpose in your life! They are dictated by our thoughts and our thoughts ultimately dictate our reality. So what you focus on is what you feel. What you feel determines your reality and your reality determines how much energy you feel and can give out.

 

I LOVE the passion and energy that I have in my life. I praise my God for it every day! It is awesome to wake up raring to go every morning. It feels incredible to have a big smile on my face all the time and to bounce through my days with such excitement and enthusiasm. It rocks! I want YOU to feel this way too! Why do I have it? Because I DECIDED to have it.

 

I spent so long in a bad frame of mind and suddenly, one day I realised I was low because I was feeling sorry for myself. I had no energy because I felt low. In that moment I DECIDED No more! I would never again allow myself to feel that way.

I was in charge and I was deciding that the new me was Alive and Loving it.

I jumped out of my chair, punched the air and shouted – This is NOT who I am! I’m alive and loving it! I have ENERGY and PASSION!  Wuhooooo! I can be me!!

 

 

You have to change your focus to change your feelings.

 

 

Did you spot what I did there? I noticed that my feelings were linked to my thoughts. I felt low because I was thinking about how life sucked and how lonely I felt and how unfair it all was! As soon as I realised that I also realised that what I focus on, i.e. what I think about is up to me. It’s my mind and I have control over it. I call the shots!  It’s up to me to choose to think about something else if what I’m thinking about is making me feel bad. So I DECIDED that was not me. I changed my focus to who I wanted to be. I thought about what I could be. I caught a glimpse of that person and it FELT good to be her and I liked it! I suddenly leapt out of my chair because as my thoughts changed my energy level also changed and I wanted to move, shout and jump around to celebrate the new me! So you see – by changing your focus, i.e. what you’re thinking about, you can instantly change how you feel in your emotion and your energy.

 

The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvass of our lives

 

Think about good things and you will feel good. Try it! Now think about a time in your life when you were truly happy. Everything was just right and you felt fantastic! Think about it, see it now. How do you feel right now? Happy? We can instantly go to memories and events from our past to change our mood.

 

Another way to change your focus would be to think about something completely different. Switch your thoughts to what’s going on around you. What’s happening outside? Listen to the background music. Notice the flowers in the garden or the birds singing in the tree outside. Take your mind off yourself for a while and see how different it makes you feel. One of the best things you can do if you’re feeling sad, lonely or frustrated is to forget yourself and go do something for someone else. Go give something. Go speak to someone or go ask if you can help in any way. You will notice a major change in how you feel. Giving to others always brings you a reward of satisfaction and joy.

 

So the next time you feel bored, lonely, sad, frustrated, tired DECIDE to think of something else. Notice what you’re thinking about and go DO something. Then make a note of both so you can use it to change how you think and how you can celebrate your progress!

 

Anchors Away!

December 4, 2007

An anchor is “A created association between a specific stimulus and a specific state i.e. a specific emotion.”

Any time a person is in an associated, intense state, if at the peak of that experience, a specific stimulus is applied, then the two will be linked neurologically.

The intense emotional state may be a resourceful state such as confidence, love, joy, passion, excitement, certainty and equally could be an unresourceful state such as anger, sadness, fear, hurt, guilt, loneliness, grief, disappointment. Each of those emotions can be easily linked to a stimulus or a trigger either inadvertently or deliberately.

For example you’re at a funeral of a loved one and the funerals guests all come up to you and touch you on the arm as they express their sadness. Now you could be out at another social event – a wedding perhaps, feeling great and someone comes up to you and touches you on the arm in that place – all of a sudden you don’t know what happened but you feel so sad and upset – just like you felt at the funeral..

Negative anchors are often set up between couples or in the work place.


You arrive at the office or home from work and you’re telling your colleague or spouse how awful it is, what a bad day you’ve had, feeling bad – looking at their face, feeling angry looking at their face.

 One day you’re having a fantastic day – everything is going great – you feel amazing and you walk into the office or arrive at home all excited to tell your colleague/spouse and you see their face ………

And you feel upset, angry, frustrated.

Ooops!

 

Negative anchor!

 

The good news is that when we recognise negative anchors – we can collapse them and replace them with a much more empowering emotion instead. A great tool to have if you want to remain happy in your relationship,  to enhance team work in the workplace and to have your customers associate you with feeling good and want to not only come back themselves but to also recommend you to their friends. 

Equally useful is to create resource anchors i.e using resourceful emotions quickly and easily when ever we want to. Anchors that we can set up in advance so that they are at our fingertips the moment we need them. Imaging being able to feel courage and confidence instantly before going to an interview or in for a meeting with your boss. How would life be if you could feel joy and happiness in any moment no matter where you are or who is around you? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to feel fantastic any time just because you chose to feel that way?

 

Well – once  you understand anchoring, how to create resource anchors and collapse un-resourceful anchors you can do just that. Live life in a more empowering, inspiring and enjoyable way – every day!


To find out more or to find out how contact Tracey.dowe@momentumpeople.co.uk