Archive for the ‘love’ category

Re-light My Fire – Ignite the Passion and Romance once more

February 11, 2008


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You’ve been together a number of years and you love each other very much. The passion and chemistry of the early months and years is now a distant memory, it was great while it lasted but your relationship is in it’s next phase now. Isn’t that what people call it when the romance goes and the “comfy with each other but not on fire” sets in?

 

How would you like to re-kindle that excitement between you? Create that spark that once burned so bright? Have your significant other fall totally and utterly head-over-heals again?

 

I can teach you very quickly how to do just that. Sound good??

 

Well, it’s actually very easy you just need to take a little time to ask some very important questions, discover what their strategy is for feeling loved by you.

Everyone has unique triggers or anchors that cause them to feel love and/or attraction. When you first get together you want to do everything to please the other person so you tap into all of these. As time goes on in a relationship you still love the person but do you still have the same intensity or focus on the relationship? You probably don’t express your love in the same way as you did back in the courting stages..

 

 Human beings have a specific set of triggers that cause us to feel deep feelings of love

 

Some of us need to be SHOWN we are loved. We need people to buy us things or take us places or look at us with a certain incredible loving look and there’s NOTHING! Nothing in this world that creates a deeper feeling of love for this type of person than that strategy.

 

For other people…you can show them all day long how much you love them but they need to HEAR it. They need to hear the words I love you – with a certain tonality, with a certain tempo and a certain way and unless you say it just like that it’s not going to work.

 

For other people, you can tell them all day long – you can show them, but unless you TOUCH them in a very specific way they’ll never feel the deepest level of love. They may feel like you love them generally, and that you’re close but the deepest feeling of love is triggered differently for every person you’ll meet.

 

So after the courting stage….when you expressed your love for this person…who’s love strategy do you express your love in???

 

Did you find out what makes them feel loved…..or did you assume that they would feel love the same way you do? That it’s triggered in the same way?

 

In the beginning you do it all, so you feel loved. Then you continue but show them love by your strategy. One day…they’re going to question whether you love them…or you will question whether they love you.

 

If you want your relationship to be deeply loving and passionate you have to know what the other person’s strategy is. Find out what makes them feel MOST loved. Ask the person that you are in a relationship with this question:-

 

“Can you remember a time when you felt most loved by me?”

 

 Then use the process of elimination to find out which one of these three is strongest for them.

 

 “In order for you to feel these deep feelings of love is it absolutely necessary that I show you I love you by buying you things, taking you places, or looking at you in a certain way?”

 

 If you get an non committal answer then ask:-

“Well can you remember a time when you felt most loved by me?”

 

Make sure they can remember a specific time and then continue

 

“In order for you to feel these deep feelings of love is it absolutely necessary that I tell you I love you in a certain way?”

 

If they say  “well, yeah” or something like that you may be closer but it isn’t it so ask this –

 

“Well can you remember a time when you felt most loved by me?” put them back in state….…..“In order for you to feel these deep feelings of love is it absolutely necessary that I touch you in a certain way?” 

 

One of these questions will give you the right answer. If it’s touch…find out the specific touch. Communicate every single day and use their strategy. Reach them at the deepest level.

 

Work at creating moments and positive anchors. Take time to do something special together at least once a month. Be spontaneous.

 

To make your relationship work…give what you want to receive in that relationship. If you want respect then give respect. If you want love then give tons of love. If you want passion then give tons of passion. Give what you want and you will receive back everything that you want.

 

The quality of a relationship comes down to the quality of your commitment to making it work. Nothing in life that has any value can be created without absolute commitment. Relationships are the essence of life. The more deeply you can share with another human being life’s experience…the greater quality of life you will live.

How to create an Extraordinary Relationship

February 11, 2008

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1. Learn to love yourself.

You can’t give to other people what you haven’t learned to give yourself. How do you expect any one else to cherish you, love you and adore you when you do not treat yourself in this way?

All relationships start with YOU.

Write down 10 things that you love about being you.

Write down 10 of the wonderful qualities that you have.

Write down 10 things that you can do to show your appreciation for you.

2. Select the qualities you need in a relationship.

When looking for anything in life be it a person, and object, a job or a holiday you first have to decide EXACTLY what it is that you are looking for. Otherwise you will just drift, never knowing if you have found the right one or not. It’s no different when looking for your ideal partner.

How do we normally meet someone? In a bar or club, at work maybe or because they share a common interest? We just both happened to be in the same place and were both needing someone. You hit it off, have something in common and the chemistry kicks in. It’s a whirlwind of emotions, you get together…time goes by and when the chemistry fades you’re left wondering why you’re together.

By setting out our wants, needs and must-haves in a relationship in advance we run a much lesser risk of spending a long time with the wrong person. When the chemistry kicks in and common sense disappears at least you have a pre-defined list of what you want to compare this person with to know if they are really what you were looking for. It’s so important to set out what we absolutely must have (and absolutely must NOT!) in advance if we are truly to find the Mr or Miss Right for us.

  • Define your Ultimate Soulmate

Who is the man/lady of your dreams? What physical attributes do they have? What height are they? What weight? What colour hair and eyes? What age are they? What do they wear and look great in?

    What career do they have? What kind of income?

    What hobbies and interests do they have?

    Should they have kids? Should they want kids? Should they have none and want none??

    What characteristics do they have? Are they funny and witty? Intelligent? More intelligent than you or less intelligent than you? Do they like to keep fit or to relax a lot? Do they play sport or the PSP?

    Are they vegetarian or a red-blooded meat eater? Do they like to socialise or are they quiet shy and retiring? Are they extrovert or introvert? Life and soul of a party or a wall flower?

    Who is your ideal partner.

    Which of these is a MUST and which would be great to have?

      • Mate from hell!

        Normally I would not even go to the negatives but here, well, it is SO important to have this list to combat making a poor partner decision when the chemistry is raging. List below all of the attributes this person must no way have. What will you absolutely not stand for in a person or relationship?

        This one is probably easier than the first as we usually know what we don’t want better than what we do, so go on….make that list!

        For example:-

        I will absolutely NOT have a person who is abusive mentally or physically. No coach potatoes. No rudeness. No-one who is foul-mouthed. Etc.

        Your turn.

          • Define the Ultimate Relationship

            Describe now the relationship you will have with your ideal person. What will you do together? Where will you go? What goals will you share. What will people say about you as a couple. Write down everything about your ideal relationship.

            3. The final step

            So here it is, the final step in the journey to finding your ideal mate.

            No matter where you go and what you do to find this ideal mate your past relationships and your future ones all have one thing in common.

            You take YOU with you.

            So – in order to succeed in love….

            What kind of person would YOU have to be to attract your ideal mate?

            Like attracts like. That’s the basis of rapport and rapport gives us that deeper connection. You need to become the sort of person you would like to find. Describe the values, characteristics, conduct, and habits you would need in order to deserve the mate you just described.

            So, I hope that you have written down the answers to all of the questions above. When you commit to finding this ideal person and become the person you want to be with some ting magical happens and I know from my experience that this absolutely works.

            I wish you every success in finding true love and hope that you will share your experiences with us too.

            Love and Blessings