Archive for the ‘positive’ category

Unfaltering Confidence At The Flip Of A Switch!

April 2, 2008

   j0386802.jpg Self confidence seems to be a rare and much sought after commodity in this day and age. It is the one thing that clients come to me for help with more than any other challenge. It is important to your self-esteem, to your self image, to your relationships, to your career and to your business.

 

Beliefs – The Root of All Evil

 

A lack of self confidence has it’s roots in beliefs. Beliefs about who you are, what you are capable of, what you look like, what others think of you. Those beliefs have been formed throughout our lives, particularly in our formative years through feedback, or lack of it, from our parents, siblings, teachers, friends and other peers. That feedback may have been in the form of hurtful comments, chastisements, being made fun of or bullied, name-calling perhaps, kids and parents can be quite cruel with their comments can’t they?

 

When that happens with little or no counter-balance of positive encouragement and reinforcement, little praise when we do something good, little encouragement to develop our skills to our potential, a lack of cheering us on to flourish we end up with a lop-sided view of who we are and believe all of the negative things about ourselves. It devastates our confidence.

 

Plant Seeds In Good Soil

 

That confidence may have taken a bashing, the good news is there is always enough left, even the tiniest spec, that we can nurture and grow again and discover who we really are and the gifts we have to give through being confident again.

 

It begins with identifying those beliefs about ourselves that stop us being confident. What is it that scares you? Holds you back? What thoughts pop into your head? They most likely start with “I am [insert your favourite head trash here]”

 

The Truth Will Set You Free

 

Did you ever believe something in the past though that turned out to be not true? And although you believed it with all your heart at the time you have now recognised that it wasn’t real and now you have the truth. A new belief.

 

For instance, when you were little did you believe in the tooth fairy or Santa Clause? Sorry if I’m about to burst your bubble here – they were not real! And you know that now or for some people you perhaps believed that you were a new home owner, you just bought a new house, are you still a new home owner 10 years down the line though? Or have things changed?

 

So what you believe about yourself right now may well not be real, it’s just a perception that you have had of yourself and not questioned until right now.

 

 

 

You Are Amazing

 

So I want you now to find the truth about who you really are. What is the opposite of that old lie? If you were to remember now all of the great things about yourself that you have kept hidden what would the truth be?

 

Write down 40 things that are great about yourself, why are you amazing? What gifts do you have?

 

Once you have that list use it to create a new belief about yourself. When you create an identity for yourself your unconscious mind has no choice but to make that a reality. It has to make changes to ensure that what you believe is true for you.

 

Allow That Seed of Confidence To Grow

 

Now that the seeds of the new confident you have been sown keep them fed and watered so that they can blossom. Remind yourself every day how wonderful you are. Add to the list of 40 things every day for a week to reinforce your new belief.

 

Every morning before you leave the house and every night before you go to sleep close your eyes and see the new you doing something in your daily life with a new confidence. See yourself standing, walking and acting confidently. What is your new posture like? Hear the words that you say to your new confident self and that you say to others. Hear the words now spoken to you as people admire your new confidence and presence. Feel what it feels like to be in control, to be confident, to feel proud of who you are and what you have to give. Play it out in your mind making it as real and vivid as you possibly can. Visualisation accelerates progress as the brain doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is vividly imagined. It thinks it IS you and therefore when you use it in real life it will be natural for you to be confident.

 

Smile, put your shoulders back and hold your head high and see what a difference it makes to those around you.

 

If you want to know more about being confident in every day social and business situations look out for more articles next month.

 

For information about coaching and training in confidence and self esteem contact Tracey Dowe

Email tracey.dowe@momentumpeople.co.uk

Or call 01793 700929

www.momentumpeople.co.uk

 

 

 

Weighty Words

March 5, 2008

scales Weight Loss and dieting are something that will be on the minds of many of you as the weather starts to get better and our thoughts turn to those summer holidays. There are hundreds of diets and exercise programs out there to choose from yet it’s more a function of how we think than what we eat. ‘Yo-yo’ dieting is an all too common occurrence. Why do we eat foods we KNOW add weight and inches to our waist and hips? Why do we sit in front of the tube for hours at a time instead of going for that wonderful walk in the park? The answer lies in our MINDS.

You’ve all heard of the saying “You are what you eat”

WRONG!

You are what you think.

It’s not just what you put in your mouth that affects how you look, it’s the words that you put in your head that does it. We all have conversations with ourselves though we don’t all like to admit it and how often do you take the time to really analyse that self talk? Stop and notice, are the words positive or negative? Do they make us feel fantastic or faulty? Do we tell ourselves how great we are? How awesome we feel? Do we tell ourselves “Hey – I love you, you’re amazing!!”

Take a minute now and tell yourself what you like about yourself. You will be amazed how difficult it is to do. We’re just not used to it. We’re used to putting ourselves down instead. “Look at me still fat” “I can’t believe I can’t lose the weight” “I can’t believe I put it all back on again, I’m hopeless.”

If you talk to yourself in a positive way, what do you think happens to your state? What happens to your confidence? It soars doesn’t it? Your unconscious mind then hears how great you are and must do what ever it takes to be congruent with your identity, therefore it has to do what it takes to make you great. If it hears that you’re a failure, it has to make you a failure.

So the words that you speak to yourself with are absolutely key in every area of your life, including your body shape and weight.

The unconscious mind needs to be spoken to in the positive as it does not recognise negatives. Let me demonstrate that to you really quickly. Right now don’t think of a pink elephant. Don’t think of it. What did you immediately think of? Yep, right before you switched your thoughts you thought of a pink elephant! So, when setting targets be sure to tell it what you want not what you don’t want otherwise what you don’t want is what you’ll get.

Set clear goals for your health and weight. For instance I want to be Xstone and Ylb instead of I want to lose xxxx lbs. I want to be able to run this distance instead of I don’t want to be tired any more. Get the idea? Great. Along side those clear goals write down what it means to have achieved those goals, as if you already have. What has it given you? How do you feel? How does it affect those around you?

Equally, if you don’t reach them what will it cost you in terms of who you are, how you feel? How you look? How is your self-esteem now? Really get some leverage on yourself here.

Finally, only share your goals with people who will support you through the ups and downs, cheer you on and challenge you, remind you why you’re doing it and tell you how proud they are of you. You become the people that you spend the most time with so pick your peers carefully.

There is so much more to learn about how your unconscious mind can support you in reaching your health and weight goals. I hope that you’ll look out for more information here and ask me about it if we meet.

For further information about this subject, coaching on health issues or training events contact:-

Tracey Dowe

Email Tracey.dow@momentumpeople.co.uk

www.momentumpeople.co.uk

Tel: 01793 700929