Archive for the ‘results’ category

What is Confidence?

August 6, 2009
How would that extra confidence feel?

How would that extra confidence feel?

Confidence, we all talk about it, we all have it and we all generally would like more of at certain times in our lives, but what actually is it?

Quite simply, confidence is just a set of skills that can be learned by anyone to give them the feeling that they can succeed in any given situation or circumstance.  That’s Great News!  Why? Because it means that we can all learn to have more whenever we need it, it’s not genetic, it’s nothing to do with how much money we have, it’s nothing to do with upbringing, it’s not for a select group – it’s there for us all!!! Hooray!!

Very often we are confident in some areas of our lives and not others for example you might be confident at home with your family but not so confident in meetings with those above you at work, you might be confident in your job but not good at making friends easily, you may be confident with your friends but not in dealing with children.  In order to learn the skills we need it’s useful to identify which specific areas do you lack confidence and why and how would life be different if you had more confidence in this area? So go ahead and answer these questions for yourself right now.

What areas of my life do I lack confidence in?

Why?

How would it be different if I had more confidence in this area of my life?

Congratulations! You have just begun the process of being more confident by taking the first steps in identifying what can be improved and importantly why you want to improve it.  So for your chosen situation can you think of someone that you know or have seen who has the kind of confidence that you would like in that situation? Write down their name andCB022665 then list what you admire about them in that situation? How do they walk, stand, breathe, speak, what is their body language, what questions do they ask, what sort of words do they use? Imagine what it’s like to be them. If you have the opportunity, why not ask them? One of the best things to do to learn to be confident is to model someone who is already great at it. Ask them if they are always confident, chances are they feel a little nervous at times too, they just do it anyway and that’s the key. Confident people still feel a bit scared – they are just prepared to give it a go anyway.  That’s good news for the rest of us J We’ll look at some of the other ways to help us just do it anyway in future articles. For now, just take the actions above and you’re well on your way to a more confident you.

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Unfaltering Confidence At The Flip Of A Switch!

April 2, 2008

   j0386802.jpg Self confidence seems to be a rare and much sought after commodity in this day and age. It is the one thing that clients come to me for help with more than any other challenge. It is important to your self-esteem, to your self image, to your relationships, to your career and to your business.

 

Beliefs – The Root of All Evil

 

A lack of self confidence has it’s roots in beliefs. Beliefs about who you are, what you are capable of, what you look like, what others think of you. Those beliefs have been formed throughout our lives, particularly in our formative years through feedback, or lack of it, from our parents, siblings, teachers, friends and other peers. That feedback may have been in the form of hurtful comments, chastisements, being made fun of or bullied, name-calling perhaps, kids and parents can be quite cruel with their comments can’t they?

 

When that happens with little or no counter-balance of positive encouragement and reinforcement, little praise when we do something good, little encouragement to develop our skills to our potential, a lack of cheering us on to flourish we end up with a lop-sided view of who we are and believe all of the negative things about ourselves. It devastates our confidence.

 

Plant Seeds In Good Soil

 

That confidence may have taken a bashing, the good news is there is always enough left, even the tiniest spec, that we can nurture and grow again and discover who we really are and the gifts we have to give through being confident again.

 

It begins with identifying those beliefs about ourselves that stop us being confident. What is it that scares you? Holds you back? What thoughts pop into your head? They most likely start with “I am [insert your favourite head trash here]”

 

The Truth Will Set You Free

 

Did you ever believe something in the past though that turned out to be not true? And although you believed it with all your heart at the time you have now recognised that it wasn’t real and now you have the truth. A new belief.

 

For instance, when you were little did you believe in the tooth fairy or Santa Clause? Sorry if I’m about to burst your bubble here – they were not real! And you know that now or for some people you perhaps believed that you were a new home owner, you just bought a new house, are you still a new home owner 10 years down the line though? Or have things changed?

 

So what you believe about yourself right now may well not be real, it’s just a perception that you have had of yourself and not questioned until right now.

 

 

 

You Are Amazing

 

So I want you now to find the truth about who you really are. What is the opposite of that old lie? If you were to remember now all of the great things about yourself that you have kept hidden what would the truth be?

 

Write down 40 things that are great about yourself, why are you amazing? What gifts do you have?

 

Once you have that list use it to create a new belief about yourself. When you create an identity for yourself your unconscious mind has no choice but to make that a reality. It has to make changes to ensure that what you believe is true for you.

 

Allow That Seed of Confidence To Grow

 

Now that the seeds of the new confident you have been sown keep them fed and watered so that they can blossom. Remind yourself every day how wonderful you are. Add to the list of 40 things every day for a week to reinforce your new belief.

 

Every morning before you leave the house and every night before you go to sleep close your eyes and see the new you doing something in your daily life with a new confidence. See yourself standing, walking and acting confidently. What is your new posture like? Hear the words that you say to your new confident self and that you say to others. Hear the words now spoken to you as people admire your new confidence and presence. Feel what it feels like to be in control, to be confident, to feel proud of who you are and what you have to give. Play it out in your mind making it as real and vivid as you possibly can. Visualisation accelerates progress as the brain doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is vividly imagined. It thinks it IS you and therefore when you use it in real life it will be natural for you to be confident.

 

Smile, put your shoulders back and hold your head high and see what a difference it makes to those around you.

 

If you want to know more about being confident in every day social and business situations look out for more articles next month.

 

For information about coaching and training in confidence and self esteem contact Tracey Dowe

Email tracey.dowe@momentumpeople.co.uk

Or call 01793 700929

www.momentumpeople.co.uk

 

 

 

How to Build Rapport with anyone Instantly!

April 1, 2008


Rapport It’s my experience that people do business with people that they know, like and trust. If you could build stronger relationships with your potential clients faster –would that be of value to you and to your business?

Yes? Then read on.

People like people who are like themselves or who they aspire to become.

Have you ever met a perfect stranger and yet felt instantly comfortable with them? As if you’ve know them for ages.

Have you ever though, met someone for the 1st time and instantly disliked them or felt uncomfortable with them for no apparent reason?

Lots of sales people will say to me …well I’m already pretty good at rapport, I get on with most people….there’s always going to be a few that you don’t hit it off with.

I want to show you how you can get on with anyone, quickly and effectively so that you can do business with them. Even with the ones you wouldn’t normally hit it off with. This is important because they are the extra sales for your business and will give you the edge over the competition.

What is Rapport?

Rapport is that feeling of being comfortable with someone and trusting them.

A crucial component in any interaction particularly a sales interaction. It’s the first thing we need to establish and the most important thing to keep all the way through the presentation to the client.

We often don’t know WHY we like or dislike someone which makes me ask the question then “Where does rapport take place?”

In our minds we have two components – The conscious mind and the unconscious mind. The conscious mind likes to think it is in control. It’s the logical mind, the rational mind, the goal setting mind.

However, the unconscious mind is that part of us that runs the body. It’s the part that stays awake when we’re asleep, listening for the alarm clock. It’s the part that keeps us breathing without thinking about it, it keeps our heart beating and our spleen, dare I say it, spleening!

The conscious mind may set the goals but the unconscious mind is the part that gets the goals. It filters out irrelevant information and makes you take notice of the things you need to look out for, opportunities to meet your goal.

Rapport happens at the level of the unconscious mind so how can we use it consciously to help us build strong relationships quickly and easily?

How do you get into rapport with someone?

How To Get In Rapport

Start with the chit chat – Look for common interests, hobbies, acquaintances, places you have been to, styles of clothing you might like etc. Find some things in common by having a little chat before the sales process begins. You are looking to put them at ease and enjoy having you there.

In order to have this conversation and find the common experiences we have to exchange words AND you need to have good listening skills to notice what information they are giving so that you can use to good effect. You need to be ACTIVELY listening – all too often we’re so busy thinking about what we want to say next that we are not concentrating on what the other person is saying. Key point – be present with your client at all times.

Notice also the language that people use when they talk.

Now obviously I don’t mean are they speaking English or Portuguese here! I mean how do they choose to internally represent the world outside?

People tend to have what is called a dominant or preferred thinking style.

People prefer to communicate in one of three ways:-

Visual

Auditory

Kinaesthetic

We all use all three – we just have one that we prefer to use one more than the others.

What to look for……

If someone likes to communicate using their auditory senses they might use phrases such as

“I hear what you’re saying”

“That rings a bell”

“Tell me more”

If someone likes to communicate using their visual senses they might use phrases such as

“I get the picture”

“I see what you mean”

“Can you imagine that?”

If someone likes to communicate using their kinaesthetic senses they might use phrases such as

“I get the feeling that…”

“I need concrete evidence”

“Give me hard facts”

If you are talking to a client and you just don’t seem to be getting the connection or the understanding that you need – stop and ask yourself – how am I different to them?

It may be that you are speaking a “foreign” language perhaps by noticing their preferred style of communication and adjusting yours to match you’ll achieve rapport.

It’s Not Just The Words You Use

Studies have shown that only 7% of what is communicated between people is transmitted through the words themselves.

38% comes through the tone of the voice, the tempo, the volume and the timbre – or individual characteristics of the voice and

55% of communication, by far the largest part is a result of physiology or body language.

Let’s first understand what is meant by the characteristics of the voice.

You could mirror the tonality and phrasing, the pitch, the speed, volume, tempo – what sort of pauses does that person make?

What about the BIG bit though?

Body language or physiology – one of the fastest ways to build rapport with another person is to mirror and match their body language.

What aspects of another person’s body language could we mirror or match?

The facial expressions,

The gestures,

The quality and type of movements,

Mirror or copy posture….do they stand or sit up straight or are they slouched? Do they have their legs crossed or not? Do they have there hands in their lap or their arms folded or resting their hand on their chin?

Do they make lots of eye contact? What are their facial expressions….if they are looking sad – you wouldn’t want to be sitting there with a big grin on your face!

How do they breathe………long deep breaths, short shallow breaths?

Do they tilt their head to one side……you can mirror all of these things.

Obviously you might want to be a little subtle at times, mirroring and matching some part of their physiology not copying every posture and move – if they notice you’ve blown it! So use it wisely.

Combine that with matching the words or language that they use and you will have them as your friend in no time because whilst the words are working on the persons conscious mind, the physiology is working on the unconscious minds and the brain starts to think WOW! They’re like me!

Practice it, master it and watch your business grow!!

Watch for my next article – I Am In Rapport, Now What? Eliciting Buying Strategies.

For further information on this subject and to discover how coaching and training n this subject can help you and your business grow contact Tracey Dowe at Momentum People Ltd

Email tracey.dowe@momentumpeople.co.uk

www.momentumpeople.co.uk

tel: 01793 700929

Get in to Focus

January 6, 2008

j0399971.jpgWe go through life living each and every day and at the end of each day we decide if it was a good day or a bad day. We get part way through a day and some times it can change from a good day to a bad day or the other way round. Did you ever stop and consider what makes it a good or bad day? Was it the events of the day? Or was it how we felt that day? There are days, aren’t there, when things don’t go our way and yet we still feel great. Other days, things go great and yet we still feel lousy, or, worse than that, we fail to feel anything. Why is that? What makes you feel good or bad or nothing as you go through your day?

 

Well, what you focus your thoughts and attention on at any moment in the day determines how you feel in that moment. And, how you feel emotionally will determine how alive you feel inside and how much energy you have. Think about it with me right now. How do you feel in this moment? Happy? Sad? Curious? Challenged? Write down what that feeling was.

 

Now, write down what were you thinking about in the minutes leading up to that question? If you were feeling pretty happy, were you thinking about something that made you happy? If you were feeling curious, were you asking questions? If you were feeling frustrated, were you thinking about something that happened that was frustrating?  What do you think about on a regular basis? Are there things that you have a habit of thinking about over and over?  How does it make you feel?

 

If you’ve been thinking about something really exciting, a new opportunity, something that you’re looking forward to, something you know is going to be fantastic then I can bet that you’re feeling pretty enthusiastic, excited and happy right now! And if you had to measure your energy level on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being low, 10 being high, where’s your energy level now?  Between eight and ten at a guess.

 

If you’ve been thinking about something you want to do but think you can’t because it’s too hard or it’s something that ‘only other people get to do’, or maybe thinking about things that have gone wrong for you how do you feel?  Pretty down, deflated, low, sad or upset? What’s your energy like now on a scale of 1 – 10? A two or three maybe?

 

You see, what you focus on i.e. what you think about most, is what you feel. What you feel determines your level of energy and how you see the world and how you see the world is your reality. If you focus on something being hard then life feels hard. Your reality is that life is a struggle; it saps your energy leaving you sad, tired and depressed. If on the other hand your focus is on the good things in life, if you’re optimistic and cheerful then your reality is very different isn’t it? You have a smile. You have more energy. You have a bounce in your walk – a spring in your step. Life feels good!

 

Your energy and passion for life are totally dependent up on what you think about each minute of each day and what your state of mind is like in each moment.

 

Let me ask you a question. Do you notice what you think about? When you’re feeling low or frustrated, when you’re in a negative frame of mind — do you relate it to what you’re thinking about? In turn, when you are feeling tired, down or sad — did you notice what you’d been thinking about to be in that place? Your feelings are absolutely the key to having energy, passion and purpose in your life! They are dictated by our thoughts and our thoughts ultimately dictate our reality. So what you focus on is what you feel. What you feel determines your reality and your reality determines how much energy you feel and can give out.

 

I LOVE the passion and energy that I have in my life. I praise my God for it every day! It is awesome to wake up raring to go every morning. It feels incredible to have a big smile on my face all the time and to bounce through my days with such excitement and enthusiasm. It rocks! I want YOU to feel this way too! Why do I have it? Because I DECIDED to have it.

 

I spent so long in a bad frame of mind and suddenly, one day I realised I was low because I was feeling sorry for myself. I had no energy because I felt low. In that moment I DECIDED No more! I would never again allow myself to feel that way.

I was in charge and I was deciding that the new me was Alive and Loving it.

I jumped out of my chair, punched the air and shouted – This is NOT who I am! I’m alive and loving it! I have ENERGY and PASSION!  Wuhooooo! I can be me!!

 

 

You have to change your focus to change your feelings.

 

 

Did you spot what I did there? I noticed that my feelings were linked to my thoughts. I felt low because I was thinking about how life sucked and how lonely I felt and how unfair it all was! As soon as I realised that I also realised that what I focus on, i.e. what I think about is up to me. It’s my mind and I have control over it. I call the shots!  It’s up to me to choose to think about something else if what I’m thinking about is making me feel bad. So I DECIDED that was not me. I changed my focus to who I wanted to be. I thought about what I could be. I caught a glimpse of that person and it FELT good to be her and I liked it! I suddenly leapt out of my chair because as my thoughts changed my energy level also changed and I wanted to move, shout and jump around to celebrate the new me! So you see – by changing your focus, i.e. what you’re thinking about, you can instantly change how you feel in your emotion and your energy.

 

The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvass of our lives

 

Think about good things and you will feel good. Try it! Now think about a time in your life when you were truly happy. Everything was just right and you felt fantastic! Think about it, see it now. How do you feel right now? Happy? We can instantly go to memories and events from our past to change our mood.

 

Another way to change your focus would be to think about something completely different. Switch your thoughts to what’s going on around you. What’s happening outside? Listen to the background music. Notice the flowers in the garden or the birds singing in the tree outside. Take your mind off yourself for a while and see how different it makes you feel. One of the best things you can do if you’re feeling sad, lonely or frustrated is to forget yourself and go do something for someone else. Go give something. Go speak to someone or go ask if you can help in any way. You will notice a major change in how you feel. Giving to others always brings you a reward of satisfaction and joy.

 

So the next time you feel bored, lonely, sad, frustrated, tired DECIDE to think of something else. Notice what you’re thinking about and go DO something. Then make a note of both so you can use it to change how you think and how you can celebrate your progress!

 

Presenting on the Radio!?!

December 13, 2007

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Last week saw the start of a new adventure for me, I began a short course to learn how to present a radio show! The radio station will be Community Radio Swindon, a brand new radio station for the community by the community of Swindon and will launch on the 14th January 2008. Great excitement!!…..and more program presenters needed!!

So last week, my 1st week on the course was really just an introduction to programming and a play with the equipment. I learned what a play out system was and how to use it. Which faders went to which and microphone and when to use them. How to listen to one track whilst playing another on air and all of that good stuff! We discussed what went into a radio program, the content and how the time is filled. My homework is to put together a running order for a half hour show to go out on a week day morning.

Introduction to yourself and the program

What music would you play?

Would you have a guest?

Will there be a phone in? and if so what about?

Is there news or a headline preview?

Time checks

Traffic reports

What’s on locally?

So – here’s my plan for a half hour show……

Good morning and welcome to Community Radio Swindon this wonderful Wednesday morning. I’m Tracey Dowe, TeeJay to my friends….and I hope I can call you all my friends…so TeeJay to you too…….and I’m with you until 11.30 this morning. It ‘s the New Year and a new show and like you I’ve started both with all good intentions. It’s a time to make resolutions, decide on our goals for the year, plan what we want to do, where we want to be and for some of us…deeper than that…..to plan who we want to become. Today we’re going to chat about how to give your self the best possible start to the New Year and how to turn those resolutions into actions and Results!

But first let’s play a little music……as last years is now history and we plan for the new one ….Queen…Another on bites the dust!(4mins)


Great record isn’t it?! Another one bites the dust! And didn’t last year fly by? They just seem to get quicker and quicker don’t they? So 2007 is now history and it’s time to decide how to be great in 2008! In a moment or two we’re going to open up the phone lines and find out just what your NY resolutions are and how you plan on achieving them…..so get dialling and let us know by calling 01793 xxxxxx now!

(Next record) Let’s hear what magic you’re going to create for yourself this year…..

“You can do magic – America (3 min 55)

Take a few calls – 5 mins

Record How to be a millionaire – ABC (3min 40)

More calls 5 mins

Record – Life will never be the same – Haddaway (3.40)

Fantastic record, brings back some powerful memories! Thanks to all of our phone in listeners for sharing their dreams with us and we wish them every success too. Stay tuned in the coming weeks for more on how to dream, set goals and more importantly how to make them happen!

Next up on air with you is the lovely xxxxxxx…….

I leave you with Stevie Winwood…finer things…have a great day!!!


So…that was my home work. I hope to turn it into a reality on air in the New Year on a longer than 30 mins show so that I can actually lead listeners through a goals setting workshop on air – that would be so cool!

Let me know what you think!!!