Archive for the ‘self-development’ category

SWISH!!!!

January 31, 2008

j0341393.jpgA fantastic way of changing your focus INSTANTLY is by using something called a swish. The Swish Pattern was developed in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) to develop self-esteem and it can be used at will whenever you want to replace an undesirable state with an empowering one.

The swish conditions your brain so that as soon as you start to think about something you know makes you feel a certain way, e.g., lonely or sad – as soon as those thoughts and feelings begin, your brain instantly recognises them and replaces them with an empowering set of thoughts, feelings and visions of the new energetic you!

How cool a tool is that to have at your disposal?! And the beauty of it is you can use it for so many thoughts and feelings, it’s really quick and easy to do, and it can be a permanent fixture once installed! So, how to create a swish pattern?

You may need to read through the instructions a couple of times to understand them fully before trying it, and practice makes perfect – repeat it over and over and over to make sure it gets anchored in. It may sound silly and feel strange at first, but if you do this and really get it fixed it will happen naturally when you choose to use it. Often this occurrence will be very powerful.

  1. Identify a habit or feeling that you would like to change. Maybe it’s biting your nails, maybe it’s over eating, maybe it’s feeling a lack of confidence. Whatever it is for you.
  2. How do you know it’s time to do or feel that thing? I mean, what is the point of no return for you – that action or thought that triggers be behaviour and you just can’t stop yourself? For example with a nail biter – is it lifting your hands to your mouth? Or is it when your fingers touch your lips? Or, is it when you have the nail between your teeth?? What IS that point of no return for you?
  3. Do you have a picture of yourself looking through your own eyes, doing this behaviour of feeling this feeling? See that picture now as if you are in it, doing it.
  4. Now – what is the behaviour you would rather have? Or the feeling you’d rather feel? Do you have a picture? See yourself in the picture doing this new behaviour of feeling the new feeling.
  5. See the image of you as BIG, BRIGHT and COLOURFUL! Hear this ‘you’ say, “I feel good about myself” (or even stronger, inspiring words), and let the words wash over you, let them echo around you. Make it strong enough that you can FEEL THE GOOD FEELINGS!
  6. Excellent. Now, close your eyes and see the old picture of you as you do the old habit big and clear in front of you.
  7. Shrink the WONDERFUL YOU image down until it’s a sparkling dot and place it in the bottom left hand corner of the image of the negative you.
  8. Reach down with the opposite hand and grab the corner of the small picture of you in the corner and pull it up diagonally in front of you. Notice that as you bring it up and across the old picture the sparkling dot containing the WONDERFUL YOU begins to grow, enlarging until it becomes full size and in full colour. Meanwhile the negative image is shrinking, fading, becoming duller. It finally disintegrates (with a ‘Swisssh’) while you hear the positive words reverberate around you and you feel the positive empowering feelings inside.
  9. Next open your eyes to blank the ‘screen’ and repeat the above (step 4), starting with the sparkling dot in the corner 20 more times, faster and faster each time. (I said 20 and I mean 20!!! Don’t be cheating yourself by thinking you can do fewer!!)
  10. Test yourself. Does thinking of the unpleasant image automatically bring on the positive image and feelings? If not, repeat another 10 times, and test it again.
  11. Let the positive image be multiplied. Create thousands of copies, one behind another. Then, leaving one image right in front of you, toss the rest into the air and let them settle down all around you in concentric circles as far as you can see, in the past, present, and future. Hear them all say, “I feel good about myself” “I am confident and successful” “I passionate and positive” “I am a winner”. Allow those good feelings to wash over you.

Practice –

Test it!

Use it!

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Get in to Focus

January 6, 2008

j0399971.jpgWe go through life living each and every day and at the end of each day we decide if it was a good day or a bad day. We get part way through a day and some times it can change from a good day to a bad day or the other way round. Did you ever stop and consider what makes it a good or bad day? Was it the events of the day? Or was it how we felt that day? There are days, aren’t there, when things don’t go our way and yet we still feel great. Other days, things go great and yet we still feel lousy, or, worse than that, we fail to feel anything. Why is that? What makes you feel good or bad or nothing as you go through your day?

 

Well, what you focus your thoughts and attention on at any moment in the day determines how you feel in that moment. And, how you feel emotionally will determine how alive you feel inside and how much energy you have. Think about it with me right now. How do you feel in this moment? Happy? Sad? Curious? Challenged? Write down what that feeling was.

 

Now, write down what were you thinking about in the minutes leading up to that question? If you were feeling pretty happy, were you thinking about something that made you happy? If you were feeling curious, were you asking questions? If you were feeling frustrated, were you thinking about something that happened that was frustrating?  What do you think about on a regular basis? Are there things that you have a habit of thinking about over and over?  How does it make you feel?

 

If you’ve been thinking about something really exciting, a new opportunity, something that you’re looking forward to, something you know is going to be fantastic then I can bet that you’re feeling pretty enthusiastic, excited and happy right now! And if you had to measure your energy level on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being low, 10 being high, where’s your energy level now?  Between eight and ten at a guess.

 

If you’ve been thinking about something you want to do but think you can’t because it’s too hard or it’s something that ‘only other people get to do’, or maybe thinking about things that have gone wrong for you how do you feel?  Pretty down, deflated, low, sad or upset? What’s your energy like now on a scale of 1 – 10? A two or three maybe?

 

You see, what you focus on i.e. what you think about most, is what you feel. What you feel determines your level of energy and how you see the world and how you see the world is your reality. If you focus on something being hard then life feels hard. Your reality is that life is a struggle; it saps your energy leaving you sad, tired and depressed. If on the other hand your focus is on the good things in life, if you’re optimistic and cheerful then your reality is very different isn’t it? You have a smile. You have more energy. You have a bounce in your walk – a spring in your step. Life feels good!

 

Your energy and passion for life are totally dependent up on what you think about each minute of each day and what your state of mind is like in each moment.

 

Let me ask you a question. Do you notice what you think about? When you’re feeling low or frustrated, when you’re in a negative frame of mind — do you relate it to what you’re thinking about? In turn, when you are feeling tired, down or sad — did you notice what you’d been thinking about to be in that place? Your feelings are absolutely the key to having energy, passion and purpose in your life! They are dictated by our thoughts and our thoughts ultimately dictate our reality. So what you focus on is what you feel. What you feel determines your reality and your reality determines how much energy you feel and can give out.

 

I LOVE the passion and energy that I have in my life. I praise my God for it every day! It is awesome to wake up raring to go every morning. It feels incredible to have a big smile on my face all the time and to bounce through my days with such excitement and enthusiasm. It rocks! I want YOU to feel this way too! Why do I have it? Because I DECIDED to have it.

 

I spent so long in a bad frame of mind and suddenly, one day I realised I was low because I was feeling sorry for myself. I had no energy because I felt low. In that moment I DECIDED No more! I would never again allow myself to feel that way.

I was in charge and I was deciding that the new me was Alive and Loving it.

I jumped out of my chair, punched the air and shouted – This is NOT who I am! I’m alive and loving it! I have ENERGY and PASSION!  Wuhooooo! I can be me!!

 

 

You have to change your focus to change your feelings.

 

 

Did you spot what I did there? I noticed that my feelings were linked to my thoughts. I felt low because I was thinking about how life sucked and how lonely I felt and how unfair it all was! As soon as I realised that I also realised that what I focus on, i.e. what I think about is up to me. It’s my mind and I have control over it. I call the shots!  It’s up to me to choose to think about something else if what I’m thinking about is making me feel bad. So I DECIDED that was not me. I changed my focus to who I wanted to be. I thought about what I could be. I caught a glimpse of that person and it FELT good to be her and I liked it! I suddenly leapt out of my chair because as my thoughts changed my energy level also changed and I wanted to move, shout and jump around to celebrate the new me! So you see – by changing your focus, i.e. what you’re thinking about, you can instantly change how you feel in your emotion and your energy.

 

The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvass of our lives

 

Think about good things and you will feel good. Try it! Now think about a time in your life when you were truly happy. Everything was just right and you felt fantastic! Think about it, see it now. How do you feel right now? Happy? We can instantly go to memories and events from our past to change our mood.

 

Another way to change your focus would be to think about something completely different. Switch your thoughts to what’s going on around you. What’s happening outside? Listen to the background music. Notice the flowers in the garden or the birds singing in the tree outside. Take your mind off yourself for a while and see how different it makes you feel. One of the best things you can do if you’re feeling sad, lonely or frustrated is to forget yourself and go do something for someone else. Go give something. Go speak to someone or go ask if you can help in any way. You will notice a major change in how you feel. Giving to others always brings you a reward of satisfaction and joy.

 

So the next time you feel bored, lonely, sad, frustrated, tired DECIDE to think of something else. Notice what you’re thinking about and go DO something. Then make a note of both so you can use it to change how you think and how you can celebrate your progress!

 

Anchors Away!

December 4, 2007

An anchor is “A created association between a specific stimulus and a specific state i.e. a specific emotion.”

Any time a person is in an associated, intense state, if at the peak of that experience, a specific stimulus is applied, then the two will be linked neurologically.

The intense emotional state may be a resourceful state such as confidence, love, joy, passion, excitement, certainty and equally could be an unresourceful state such as anger, sadness, fear, hurt, guilt, loneliness, grief, disappointment. Each of those emotions can be easily linked to a stimulus or a trigger either inadvertently or deliberately.

For example you’re at a funeral of a loved one and the funerals guests all come up to you and touch you on the arm as they express their sadness. Now you could be out at another social event – a wedding perhaps, feeling great and someone comes up to you and touches you on the arm in that place – all of a sudden you don’t know what happened but you feel so sad and upset – just like you felt at the funeral..

Negative anchors are often set up between couples or in the work place.


You arrive at the office or home from work and you’re telling your colleague or spouse how awful it is, what a bad day you’ve had, feeling bad – looking at their face, feeling angry looking at their face.

 One day you’re having a fantastic day – everything is going great – you feel amazing and you walk into the office or arrive at home all excited to tell your colleague/spouse and you see their face ………

And you feel upset, angry, frustrated.

Ooops!

 

Negative anchor!

 

The good news is that when we recognise negative anchors – we can collapse them and replace them with a much more empowering emotion instead. A great tool to have if you want to remain happy in your relationship,  to enhance team work in the workplace and to have your customers associate you with feeling good and want to not only come back themselves but to also recommend you to their friends. 

Equally useful is to create resource anchors i.e using resourceful emotions quickly and easily when ever we want to. Anchors that we can set up in advance so that they are at our fingertips the moment we need them. Imaging being able to feel courage and confidence instantly before going to an interview or in for a meeting with your boss. How would life be if you could feel joy and happiness in any moment no matter where you are or who is around you? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to feel fantastic any time just because you chose to feel that way?

 

Well – once  you understand anchoring, how to create resource anchors and collapse un-resourceful anchors you can do just that. Live life in a more empowering, inspiring and enjoyable way – every day!


To find out more or to find out how contact Tracey.dowe@momentumpeople.co.uk

 

4th September 2007

October 11, 2007

j0405480.jpgThe Black Bag at breakfast this morning in Street went down extremely well! Certainly stimulated much thought and resulted in two very interesting conversations – one with a leadership coach and one with a homeopath.

At the meetings you get 60 seconds to introduce yourself and what you do – what kind of referrals you’re looking for etc. I always find it SO hard to put in to words exactly what it is we do. This morning on the way in I was pondering this very thing and decided to ask my unconscious mind “Unconscious mind can you answer this question? What can I say in 60 seconds that will best describe my business?


Within 1 minute my unconscious mind answered me.

This morning rather than attempt to describe what I do in 60 seconds, I told a story 🙂

There was once a young boy, when he was still small his parents gave him a rucksack and as he went through life with every negative event, hurt and disappointment he marked the occasion by picking up a stone and putting it in his rucksack. As life went by and he kept adding stones he got to a point where the sack was so heavy that it weighed him down. He felt so tired that one day he felt the couldn’t go on any more and he sat down under a tree to think about giving up. He gave his coach a call and they had a chat. And after a little while the man took off the rucksack, left it there under the tree. He leapt to his feet – a man with a plan, a Passion, a PURPOSE! He walked off into his new life and never looked back”

Hmmmm…..some thing to think about!

After the meeting I went to a local pharmacy to complete some medicines use reviews with customers for them. I had some amazing conversations. Two ladies in particular were so lovely. One lady suffered from chronic migraine attacks – she said she had tried everything. We spoke about illness being due to emotions and talked about what I did outside of pharmacy. It was not appropriate for me to take her through parts integration or temporal dynamics there, however she asked for my number and will be in touch.
The other lady was a remarkable 79 year old who having got divorced 14 yrs ago had found her true self and was living life anew and to the full. She was full of energy and life and again very interested in what we do.

This evening when I got home my new silver pendulum had arrived so we got the pendulum script out and had a little practice – my daughter thought it was amazing!

3rd September 2007

October 11, 2007

j04310451.jpg

Lovely to hear from Brian by email this morning – happily sent my anchoring stuff – the offer’s still there for anyone who would like it too. 🙂

Had a call from a lady from the Noah’s Ark Trust – they’re running a volunteer training weekend this weekend and she knew it was late notice but would I be able to do a presentation for them on Sunday?

Of Course! 🙂

My subject is “How to protect yourself emotionally”…..when working with bereaved children. How not to get emotionally involved and take it home with you.

I had a few thoughts that I sounded a few people out about and Alistair bless him gave me a call with some fantastic ideas around using identity and archetypes. The support from this group is amazing – I really appreciate that people have just emailed away or picked up the phone and shared so freely. It is a truly outstanding community to be in.

So – I’m working on my presentation and have nearly got it together and I’m already really excited about taking it there and delivering it. I’m just pondering some music for it. It’s great fun!
I got the opportunity to talk a little bit to this lady a bout time line therapy/temporal dynamics with these kids – about how it will preserve the memory, and that they can take the positive learnings from the experiences and move on without the painful emotions. She was very interested so I’ve arranged to explore this some more with her on Sunday.

That was the reason for my post in the NLP etc forum here – I really would like to use the gift that we have to support these kids as much has I can. And – I have to say a BIG thank you not only to Alistair for calling me today – but to Mark too. Mark saw my post about TL in kids and called me this evening to share his experiences. So much really valuable information! I have taken so many notes from people today!! Thank you SO much!

I am still SO excited about getting this stuff out there and sharing the gifts with as many people as I can – I get really frustrated with myself if I feel I’m not making progress! It’s a great motivator! We are so privileged to have learned it that I just have to use it and teach – every day.

The black bag is making it’s debut appearance tomorrow morning in Street in Somerset 🙂 I’m having lots of fun using this and will be doing it a lot more over the next few weeks too.

Life is so AMAZING! Loving it!

30th August 2007

October 11, 2007

This morning I did my star turn at the Cirencester 4Networking meeting – the old black back routine re-ran for a different audience who were suitably stunned in to silence Haha!! I will at some point write out my script in case any one else wants to use it, adapt it, put their own spin on it. Let me know if that would be useful.

I then hot footed it over to Ross-on-Wye to the Chamber of Commerce business networking afternoon where about 30 businesses attended a fabulous team building session followed by my anchoring workshop. The response was brilliant, the audience really participated and the feedback was very positive. I already have this 40 minute presentation scripted if any one would like that to use/adapt too. he session was also video recorded so you’re welcome to see it when I have a copy and give me some feedback. The chap who ran the team building session outdoors has invited me to joint venture with him and I think that this could be a really good opportunity to work with people to take them out of their comfort zones and support them in their growth. I’ll keep you posted!

Met a lady from the Noah’s Ark Trust – supporting bereaved children who often have challenges with anger and fear following bereavement. I had a chat with her after the meeting and explained about the temporal dymamics process and offered my services. She has taken my number and was interested in my support. I will follow up with her tomorrow.

A few other very interesting conversations took place as well including another lady relationship challenge. Will let you know if anything blossoms from those.

Mel and I met with Sweatal this evening in Newbury. It was so lovely to see her and although she told us she hadn’t really had chance to use what we learned and felt that she was forgetting it – this really was not true – she and Hiten are doing a fantastic job and have lots of opportunities to develop this going forward. We’ve arranged to meet again in September and hopefully a few others will be joining us then too.

29th August 2007

October 11, 2007

Following up…..



This morning I met with the training manager at the Sure Start Childrens centre. She was lovely (I was a little apprehensive as she had been a bit defensive on the phone) She was familiar with NLP and so could see the potential benefits. I let her do lots of talking first, telling me about the extensive work that the centre does – very impressive too, I have to add. At the end of her explanation she asked how I saw myself fitting in, was it with parents, or children or staff. Definitely staff I told her, that was where I could see the most benefit. I explained together how rapport skills and anchoring, perhaps a little conflict management would really benefit them in working with the parents in particular. This was obviously the right answer! as she relaxed and agreed and became more open with me. She is very interested and told me that the timing was great. The team hadn’t had any communication skills training for about 3 years and there were many new staff. She told me that they do have a budget for training to use and that this would be very valuable. She would put it to her superior and suggest that he meets me to discuss options. She also gave the names of 2 other people who might be very interested, one in the Swindon Sure Start Partnership and one in Swindon Borough Council.

Didn’t get chance to do anything with that today but will be following those leads up next week.

Called Andrea re: the training opportunity with Tesco and got further details. This is an interesting project and I’m giving it some serious thought. Thank you Andrea – you are so lovely for thinking of me and I really appreciate it. It was so Good to speak with you today and hear about all of the ways you are using what we learned in your training role. You ROCK!

Had further correspondence today with the Nursing Home – the inspectorate have said no CRB check needed. I just have to put together a protocol for them about what I’ll be doing there. Cool

I have two presentations to give at 2 different groups tomorrow so have been polishing them up and practising them through out the day. I’m very excited about both.!