Archive for the ‘training’ category

Unfaltering Confidence At The Flip Of A Switch!

April 2, 2008

   j0386802.jpg Self confidence seems to be a rare and much sought after commodity in this day and age. It is the one thing that clients come to me for help with more than any other challenge. It is important to your self-esteem, to your self image, to your relationships, to your career and to your business.

 

Beliefs – The Root of All Evil

 

A lack of self confidence has it’s roots in beliefs. Beliefs about who you are, what you are capable of, what you look like, what others think of you. Those beliefs have been formed throughout our lives, particularly in our formative years through feedback, or lack of it, from our parents, siblings, teachers, friends and other peers. That feedback may have been in the form of hurtful comments, chastisements, being made fun of or bullied, name-calling perhaps, kids and parents can be quite cruel with their comments can’t they?

 

When that happens with little or no counter-balance of positive encouragement and reinforcement, little praise when we do something good, little encouragement to develop our skills to our potential, a lack of cheering us on to flourish we end up with a lop-sided view of who we are and believe all of the negative things about ourselves. It devastates our confidence.

 

Plant Seeds In Good Soil

 

That confidence may have taken a bashing, the good news is there is always enough left, even the tiniest spec, that we can nurture and grow again and discover who we really are and the gifts we have to give through being confident again.

 

It begins with identifying those beliefs about ourselves that stop us being confident. What is it that scares you? Holds you back? What thoughts pop into your head? They most likely start with “I am [insert your favourite head trash here]”

 

The Truth Will Set You Free

 

Did you ever believe something in the past though that turned out to be not true? And although you believed it with all your heart at the time you have now recognised that it wasn’t real and now you have the truth. A new belief.

 

For instance, when you were little did you believe in the tooth fairy or Santa Clause? Sorry if I’m about to burst your bubble here – they were not real! And you know that now or for some people you perhaps believed that you were a new home owner, you just bought a new house, are you still a new home owner 10 years down the line though? Or have things changed?

 

So what you believe about yourself right now may well not be real, it’s just a perception that you have had of yourself and not questioned until right now.

 

 

 

You Are Amazing

 

So I want you now to find the truth about who you really are. What is the opposite of that old lie? If you were to remember now all of the great things about yourself that you have kept hidden what would the truth be?

 

Write down 40 things that are great about yourself, why are you amazing? What gifts do you have?

 

Once you have that list use it to create a new belief about yourself. When you create an identity for yourself your unconscious mind has no choice but to make that a reality. It has to make changes to ensure that what you believe is true for you.

 

Allow That Seed of Confidence To Grow

 

Now that the seeds of the new confident you have been sown keep them fed and watered so that they can blossom. Remind yourself every day how wonderful you are. Add to the list of 40 things every day for a week to reinforce your new belief.

 

Every morning before you leave the house and every night before you go to sleep close your eyes and see the new you doing something in your daily life with a new confidence. See yourself standing, walking and acting confidently. What is your new posture like? Hear the words that you say to your new confident self and that you say to others. Hear the words now spoken to you as people admire your new confidence and presence. Feel what it feels like to be in control, to be confident, to feel proud of who you are and what you have to give. Play it out in your mind making it as real and vivid as you possibly can. Visualisation accelerates progress as the brain doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is vividly imagined. It thinks it IS you and therefore when you use it in real life it will be natural for you to be confident.

 

Smile, put your shoulders back and hold your head high and see what a difference it makes to those around you.

 

If you want to know more about being confident in every day social and business situations look out for more articles next month.

 

For information about coaching and training in confidence and self esteem contact Tracey Dowe

Email tracey.dowe@momentumpeople.co.uk

Or call 01793 700929

www.momentumpeople.co.uk

 

 

 

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Weighty Words

March 5, 2008

scales Weight Loss and dieting are something that will be on the minds of many of you as the weather starts to get better and our thoughts turn to those summer holidays. There are hundreds of diets and exercise programs out there to choose from yet it’s more a function of how we think than what we eat. ‘Yo-yo’ dieting is an all too common occurrence. Why do we eat foods we KNOW add weight and inches to our waist and hips? Why do we sit in front of the tube for hours at a time instead of going for that wonderful walk in the park? The answer lies in our MINDS.

You’ve all heard of the saying “You are what you eat”

WRONG!

You are what you think.

It’s not just what you put in your mouth that affects how you look, it’s the words that you put in your head that does it. We all have conversations with ourselves though we don’t all like to admit it and how often do you take the time to really analyse that self talk? Stop and notice, are the words positive or negative? Do they make us feel fantastic or faulty? Do we tell ourselves how great we are? How awesome we feel? Do we tell ourselves “Hey – I love you, you’re amazing!!”

Take a minute now and tell yourself what you like about yourself. You will be amazed how difficult it is to do. We’re just not used to it. We’re used to putting ourselves down instead. “Look at me still fat” “I can’t believe I can’t lose the weight” “I can’t believe I put it all back on again, I’m hopeless.”

If you talk to yourself in a positive way, what do you think happens to your state? What happens to your confidence? It soars doesn’t it? Your unconscious mind then hears how great you are and must do what ever it takes to be congruent with your identity, therefore it has to do what it takes to make you great. If it hears that you’re a failure, it has to make you a failure.

So the words that you speak to yourself with are absolutely key in every area of your life, including your body shape and weight.

The unconscious mind needs to be spoken to in the positive as it does not recognise negatives. Let me demonstrate that to you really quickly. Right now don’t think of a pink elephant. Don’t think of it. What did you immediately think of? Yep, right before you switched your thoughts you thought of a pink elephant! So, when setting targets be sure to tell it what you want not what you don’t want otherwise what you don’t want is what you’ll get.

Set clear goals for your health and weight. For instance I want to be Xstone and Ylb instead of I want to lose xxxx lbs. I want to be able to run this distance instead of I don’t want to be tired any more. Get the idea? Great. Along side those clear goals write down what it means to have achieved those goals, as if you already have. What has it given you? How do you feel? How does it affect those around you?

Equally, if you don’t reach them what will it cost you in terms of who you are, how you feel? How you look? How is your self-esteem now? Really get some leverage on yourself here.

Finally, only share your goals with people who will support you through the ups and downs, cheer you on and challenge you, remind you why you’re doing it and tell you how proud they are of you. You become the people that you spend the most time with so pick your peers carefully.

There is so much more to learn about how your unconscious mind can support you in reaching your health and weight goals. I hope that you’ll look out for more information here and ask me about it if we meet.

For further information about this subject, coaching on health issues or training events contact:-

Tracey Dowe

Email Tracey.dow@momentumpeople.co.uk

www.momentumpeople.co.uk

Tel: 01793 700929

4th September 2007

October 11, 2007

j0405480.jpgThe Black Bag at breakfast this morning in Street went down extremely well! Certainly stimulated much thought and resulted in two very interesting conversations – one with a leadership coach and one with a homeopath.

At the meetings you get 60 seconds to introduce yourself and what you do – what kind of referrals you’re looking for etc. I always find it SO hard to put in to words exactly what it is we do. This morning on the way in I was pondering this very thing and decided to ask my unconscious mind “Unconscious mind can you answer this question? What can I say in 60 seconds that will best describe my business?


Within 1 minute my unconscious mind answered me.

This morning rather than attempt to describe what I do in 60 seconds, I told a story 🙂

There was once a young boy, when he was still small his parents gave him a rucksack and as he went through life with every negative event, hurt and disappointment he marked the occasion by picking up a stone and putting it in his rucksack. As life went by and he kept adding stones he got to a point where the sack was so heavy that it weighed him down. He felt so tired that one day he felt the couldn’t go on any more and he sat down under a tree to think about giving up. He gave his coach a call and they had a chat. And after a little while the man took off the rucksack, left it there under the tree. He leapt to his feet – a man with a plan, a Passion, a PURPOSE! He walked off into his new life and never looked back”

Hmmmm…..some thing to think about!

After the meeting I went to a local pharmacy to complete some medicines use reviews with customers for them. I had some amazing conversations. Two ladies in particular were so lovely. One lady suffered from chronic migraine attacks – she said she had tried everything. We spoke about illness being due to emotions and talked about what I did outside of pharmacy. It was not appropriate for me to take her through parts integration or temporal dynamics there, however she asked for my number and will be in touch.
The other lady was a remarkable 79 year old who having got divorced 14 yrs ago had found her true self and was living life anew and to the full. She was full of energy and life and again very interested in what we do.

This evening when I got home my new silver pendulum had arrived so we got the pendulum script out and had a little practice – my daughter thought it was amazing!

3rd September 2007

October 11, 2007

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Lovely to hear from Brian by email this morning – happily sent my anchoring stuff – the offer’s still there for anyone who would like it too. 🙂

Had a call from a lady from the Noah’s Ark Trust – they’re running a volunteer training weekend this weekend and she knew it was late notice but would I be able to do a presentation for them on Sunday?

Of Course! 🙂

My subject is “How to protect yourself emotionally”…..when working with bereaved children. How not to get emotionally involved and take it home with you.

I had a few thoughts that I sounded a few people out about and Alistair bless him gave me a call with some fantastic ideas around using identity and archetypes. The support from this group is amazing – I really appreciate that people have just emailed away or picked up the phone and shared so freely. It is a truly outstanding community to be in.

So – I’m working on my presentation and have nearly got it together and I’m already really excited about taking it there and delivering it. I’m just pondering some music for it. It’s great fun!
I got the opportunity to talk a little bit to this lady a bout time line therapy/temporal dynamics with these kids – about how it will preserve the memory, and that they can take the positive learnings from the experiences and move on without the painful emotions. She was very interested so I’ve arranged to explore this some more with her on Sunday.

That was the reason for my post in the NLP etc forum here – I really would like to use the gift that we have to support these kids as much has I can. And – I have to say a BIG thank you not only to Alistair for calling me today – but to Mark too. Mark saw my post about TL in kids and called me this evening to share his experiences. So much really valuable information! I have taken so many notes from people today!! Thank you SO much!

I am still SO excited about getting this stuff out there and sharing the gifts with as many people as I can – I get really frustrated with myself if I feel I’m not making progress! It’s a great motivator! We are so privileged to have learned it that I just have to use it and teach – every day.

The black bag is making it’s debut appearance tomorrow morning in Street in Somerset 🙂 I’m having lots of fun using this and will be doing it a lot more over the next few weeks too.

Life is so AMAZING! Loving it!

30th August 2007

October 11, 2007

This morning I did my star turn at the Cirencester 4Networking meeting – the old black back routine re-ran for a different audience who were suitably stunned in to silence Haha!! I will at some point write out my script in case any one else wants to use it, adapt it, put their own spin on it. Let me know if that would be useful.

I then hot footed it over to Ross-on-Wye to the Chamber of Commerce business networking afternoon where about 30 businesses attended a fabulous team building session followed by my anchoring workshop. The response was brilliant, the audience really participated and the feedback was very positive. I already have this 40 minute presentation scripted if any one would like that to use/adapt too. he session was also video recorded so you’re welcome to see it when I have a copy and give me some feedback. The chap who ran the team building session outdoors has invited me to joint venture with him and I think that this could be a really good opportunity to work with people to take them out of their comfort zones and support them in their growth. I’ll keep you posted!

Met a lady from the Noah’s Ark Trust – supporting bereaved children who often have challenges with anger and fear following bereavement. I had a chat with her after the meeting and explained about the temporal dymamics process and offered my services. She has taken my number and was interested in my support. I will follow up with her tomorrow.

A few other very interesting conversations took place as well including another lady relationship challenge. Will let you know if anything blossoms from those.

Mel and I met with Sweatal this evening in Newbury. It was so lovely to see her and although she told us she hadn’t really had chance to use what we learned and felt that she was forgetting it – this really was not true – she and Hiten are doing a fantastic job and have lots of opportunities to develop this going forward. We’ve arranged to meet again in September and hopefully a few others will be joining us then too.

29th August 2007

October 11, 2007

Following up…..



This morning I met with the training manager at the Sure Start Childrens centre. She was lovely (I was a little apprehensive as she had been a bit defensive on the phone) She was familiar with NLP and so could see the potential benefits. I let her do lots of talking first, telling me about the extensive work that the centre does – very impressive too, I have to add. At the end of her explanation she asked how I saw myself fitting in, was it with parents, or children or staff. Definitely staff I told her, that was where I could see the most benefit. I explained together how rapport skills and anchoring, perhaps a little conflict management would really benefit them in working with the parents in particular. This was obviously the right answer! as she relaxed and agreed and became more open with me. She is very interested and told me that the timing was great. The team hadn’t had any communication skills training for about 3 years and there were many new staff. She told me that they do have a budget for training to use and that this would be very valuable. She would put it to her superior and suggest that he meets me to discuss options. She also gave the names of 2 other people who might be very interested, one in the Swindon Sure Start Partnership and one in Swindon Borough Council.

Didn’t get chance to do anything with that today but will be following those leads up next week.

Called Andrea re: the training opportunity with Tesco and got further details. This is an interesting project and I’m giving it some serious thought. Thank you Andrea – you are so lovely for thinking of me and I really appreciate it. It was so Good to speak with you today and hear about all of the ways you are using what we learned in your training role. You ROCK!

Had further correspondence today with the Nursing Home – the inspectorate have said no CRB check needed. I just have to put together a protocol for them about what I’ll be doing there. Cool

I have two presentations to give at 2 different groups tomorrow so have been polishing them up and practising them through out the day. I’m very excited about both.!

28th August 2007

September 24, 2007

Loving life, loving learning, loving Loving!!

Gosh! The weekend just whizzed by so MAGNIFICENTLY! I had the most amazing family time, it has been so precious. Had the opportunity to practice a phobia cure…..a fear of wasps! when we were out having lunch at a craft fair at Blenhiem Palace!

Began my day with my usual hour of power – a “run” on the Gazelle Glider followed by 20 mins on the stepper followed by 30 mins meditation – the best way to begin the day!!!!!

Spent the whole day preparing and practicing a presentation on anchoring that I will give at the Chamber of Commerce event on Thursday.

Had a wonderful conversation with Sweatal, just back from Australia and keen to come to our Mastermind group on Thursday evening.

Touched base with the events organiser for Thursday to make sure I tailor my presentation to their needs.

Won a holiday!!!!!!!!!! Yep – 7 nights at a 5 star resort in either Austria, Tenneriffe, Turkey or Spain for upto 4 people to be taken any time with in the next 18 months…..coooooooooooollllllllllllll!!! 🙂
Talked to my mum, watched a movie with my little one and caught up with you guys 🙂

How was today???

Pretty damn good actually!

How’s tomorrow gonna be?

AWESOME actually!! Have a meeting with the training officer from Sure Start at 10am and then a few few other irons in the fire to follow up on 🙂

Ahhhhh ain’t life grand???

Stay AMAZING out there!

Love and Blessings